This is why it’s important to mindfully tune into your man and determine where he is in that particular moment.įor example, is he engaging in lots of kissing and foreplay? Does he seem to be touching you a lot? This is an indication that your bottom is looking for an emotional buildup before reaching its full crescendo.Ĭonsider this your cue to take your time and not be overly aggressive. The answer to this question may not reveal itself until the two of you start playing. While you may be in the mood to penetrate, that doesn’t mean your guy is also feeling it.
It will show him you care about what is to come in a way that sends a positive mindful message. It doesn’t hurt to manscape and groom yourself in a way that is pleasing to your bottom. If the answer is yes and you are in the mood to top, make sure you take the time to clean yourself properly. There’s nothing wrong with vanilla, provided the both of you are down with an alternative activity. Most bottoms will be able to detect if you’re feeling it and if the experience is genuine. Do you feel like topping is your mind elsewhere? If the answer is no and you are just looking to release, don’t force yourself to top your man. Read them all in order to fully absorb their deeper meaning.īefore anything can happen, it is important for you to check your mood. Some of these suggestions may strike you as common sense while others will cause you to pause and reflect. The material that you are about to read comes to us from readers who identify as bottoms, combined with wisdom from tops who actively engage in mindful based sex.
Tracing its roots back to ancient Buddhism, mindfulness teaches people how to live in the moment and be one with their environment. You may be wondering what that term – mindfulness – means? Well, mindfulness is nothing more than a state of awareness that focuses your total span of awareness on the here and now. In the past, we’ve offered readers who are interested in bottoming suggestions on how to ride a guy the right way and avoid pain.īecause of interest in this topic, we’ve decided to explore the other of the dynamic through the lens of psychology, specifically borrowing from the school of mindfulness. Part of this has to do with a machismo factor on the part of some gay men and part of it relates to simply not knowing the basics. While many guys identify a top men according to some of the existing research, few are aware of technique, form and style. So there you have it – the main differences between a twink and a pup for gay men.If you are looking for tips on being a better gay top, you wouldn’t be alone. After they’ve been out awhile and been exposed to dating, apps, bars, hookups, etc – they then graduate to another classification. Remember, the defining trait for a pup is their newness to the gay world. Pups can also have body hair or be smooth. Pups can be of all body types, including slender and muscular or roundish and heavy (not the same as a gay cub). Many pups are newbies to our gay world, just taking their first few steps of self-discovery as part of coming out. In gay-speak, “pups” are fairly young (18-early 20’s) with the defining feature of having almost zero experience in the gay universe. That’s a twink subtype in case you didn’t know.įYI: Technically speaking, twinks can also be pups but they aren’t exactly the same. You see, if a twink is referred to as having pretty features, they are referred to as a glamour twink. Many gay men mistakenly think of “Twinks” as pretty but that would be incorrect. There really isn’t a universally agreed upon construct here. Twinks are often thought of as smooth but they can also have body hair. Usually, they are in their 20’s and have boyish features. Example twink TWINK DEFINEDįor the most part, a twink is a guy who has a slender build. While I don’t pretend to be an expert, I will give you the basics of what I found out. Hey, you have to have something to talk about when you’re checking out the meat at the bar, right?Īfter we all went home that night – empty handed I might add – I started to do some research on twinks and pups.
His bit of insight then led to an hour long conversation about the larger topic of gay twinks and pups – plus a few other labels thrown in for good measure – like wolves and otters.